Reflections, Uncategorized

Not Alone

Woman walking down beach
It can seem like a lonely path

When I decided to blog about my sabbatical, my motivations were two-fold. First, I knew it would be a good way of documenting my own thoughts and experiences as I explore these new careers – a type of record I could look back on. Secondly, and more importantly, I chose to make my journey public as a way of holding myself accountable to actually following through on my plan.

But something else, rather unexpected, has come out of sharing my sabbatical adventure with the world: an outpouring of not just support but people telling me, “I’ve been there.”

There are the people who have taken similar types of sabbaticals in the past. Their experiences have provided a lot of good lessons and tips for my own sabbatical. And a lot of those people took pretty long breaks from work, which has encouraged me to really take my time and not rush back into something until I’m confident it’s the right path for me.

Then, there are the people who are currently taking a sabbatical! It’s been great to swap stories, share strategies and act as each others’ cheerleaders. These are the people I can turn to when I have doubts or are worried about not working because they’re going through the same thing.

And finally, there are the people who’ve reached out to me privately to tell me that they are feeling just as unfulfilled in their jobs but don’t have the means or are not in the right place to take this type of sabbatical. And surprisingly, some of these people have been people I worked with, who always seemed so happy and successful in their job. I guess a smile can hide a lot of things. Their stories are heartbreaking, and I feel a little guilty that I have the privilege to take this break from work but so many don’t.

While it’s been comforting to know I’m not alone — that I’m not crazy for feeling this way or deciding to make this drastic change — it’s a little concerning just how prevalent this dissatisfaction is among my peers.

Is it something about work these days? Or does it start earlier than that?

I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I fell into my own path. Growing up and even into early adulthood, I never gave myself the opportunity to really think about what I wanted to do with my life. In school, it was all about getting top grades. But for what? And once I was out of college, I just knew I wanted to make a decent amount of money and have a good job title. But was that really what I wanted or just what I thought I should want?

So many of us grow up with a specific path laid out for us: You work hard in school to get into a good college. And then you get out of college and get a job and start working your way up the ladder. But is it realistic to expect a 22-year-old to know what they want to do for the rest of their life?!

If it wasn’t obvious, that question was rhetorical. Oh sure, there are people who know exactly what they want to do, which makes the rest of us feel like we should know what we want to do. So, we fake it. We talk ourselves into a career path.

But what’s the rush? Why is it so important to know so early? Shouldn’t we go out and experience the world, first? Try different things. Meet different people. Form our own opinions. Forget college internships. We need adult internships!

It’s too late to change the path I’ve already taken. But now, as I stand at yet another crossroads, realizing that not only am I not alone but these crossroads are quite crowded, I’m wondering how we can all band together. How can we all help each other to get out of this mess?

I don’t know if I have an answer yet. I’m not sure if I ever will. But I think a good first step is just sharing our stories, being open and honest about what we want, not being afraid to ask for help. And in turn, when we see the opportunity, we can offer help, dish out advice, connect others with the right people or just lend an ear.

So, let me start by offering myself. If you need to talk, want to ask advice, would like an introduction to someone I know, are looking for some training on something I have experience with, just reach out.

We are not alone, and we don’t have to do this alone.

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